btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
