i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
