thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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