remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
