Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
