Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is wine microwaveable?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
