I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
