Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
