talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
