Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
