I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
