I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
