so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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