Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
