He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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