sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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