When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
