waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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