quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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