do herpes really smell.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you had me at cake vodka
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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