Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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