You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
