Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
