I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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