How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
