Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
