Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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