bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
