Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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