So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
