i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
