im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Houston, we have a squirter
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
