If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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