Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
