i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my shit smells like andre
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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