my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
