he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
