What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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