The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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