Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
