he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
