I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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