My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
