what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
