chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
