that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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