I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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