brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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