At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
