You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
